The Not-So-Deep South
December 2006
Greetings
fans of the (insert drum roll here) Annual Duchess Christmas Letter of the
Miller-Younkin clan,
Once again I take keyboard in paw to
bring you up to date on the family highlights of this past year from a canine
perspective. Those of you who remember
last year’s letter will note that I have learned my lesson in that never again
shall I turn the task of creating this letter over to the Assistant Webmaster
in Training (AWIT) Petronius (aka Pete), nor any other cat for that matter,
(not to mention the prank that the other feline member of the household, Zeus,
pulled on me by tinkering with my keyboard).
Remember, CATS is a four-letter word just like RATS, SCUM and DIRT, but
DOG is a three-letter word.
Before I move on to the more
traditional part of this letter, I must mention how saddened we all were by the
passing of Jean’s oldest sister, Donna, in January. Although a cat lover, Aunt Donna was always
one of my favorite people as she always had a smile for everyone, canine,
feline or human. A score of boxes packed
with her genealogy research now reside in our dining room, giving Jean plenty
to do for the next few summer vacations.
As I started writing this year’s annual epistle, I
suddenly had a most disturbing thought.
Perhaps some of you find my Christmas letters overly long and boring as
they tend to ramble on and on in excruciating detail regarding events most of
you could care less about. Some of you
may feel that these letters are no doubt up there along with visits by
relatives and fruit cake as among the things you dread the most about the
season. Since that may indeed be the
case with some of you, I have decided to add a twist to this year’s letter in
that in some places I have…er, well, shall we say, embellished the truth a
bit. Sort of like TV news and Al Gore’s
latest work of fiction, A Convenient Lie.
But for those of you who just can’t get enough of
news about our family and who are on the worldwide web, all you need to do is
browse my award winning, internationally famous website—the Triangle Press, www.dracorex.com (hehehe, as if the
address wasn’t already embedded forever in your memory along with more trivial
data like your name).
Okay, first we’ll start with some other not-so-good
news. (Jim made me type this.) One of our cats, Pixel, passed away last
spring, so we’re down to just fifteen cats (well, some days it seems like
fifteen). We sure go through a lot of
cats in this household. Every time we
lose one, Jean and Jim give me one of those suspicious looks—but I swear… Fortunately, it wasn’t the AWIT, because do
you know how long it takes to train a cat to do anything? Ever hear the expression, “Like trying to
herd cats?” But I digress.
Derek’s college career went downhill after his
unfortunate display of unsportsmanlike conduct at last year’s Gator Bowl game
and more DUI charges…oops, wait a minute, that was
some guy named Vick. Derek is still a
Hokie (and I still don’t have any idea what a Hokie is) and in his thirteenth
year as a theatre major at Virginia Tech.
For a view of some of his incredible stage design models that were on
display at the Virginia Tech Theatre Arts Department’s Gallery exhibit last
spring see (what else?) my website. Also
last spring, he worked on the play Tall
Grass Gothic,
a somewhat morbid tale about a bunch of overgrown weeds prone to displaying
dark and eroticized fashions with a flair for the iconoclastic—sort of Matrix meets Signs. After winning a
$500,000 department scholarship for next year, Derek spent the summer working
at the Ash Lawn Opera in Charlottesville where the musicals East End Tale and The Jolly Divorcee (or something like that) were presented. This fall he did the stage and lighting
design for the production Ice Cream,
a play about…er, well, ice cream, I guess.
(Pictures soon to be on web site, but right now I’m tied up with the
thankless job getting this letter written.)
Derek’s successful run at on-line Texas Hold’em came to a temporary halt
when some of the arrogant, self-seeking do-gooders in Congress, who claim to
know what’s best for everyone else, tried to outlaw it. Fortunately these human misfits screwed
things up as usual in that this time they managed to screw up a screw up, and
it was only a few days before on-line gambling was back….on-line. Jean and Derek plan to travel to
Devon continues to be busy working
cotillion (as before, not a clue here), spending time with Kyle, judoing (is
that a word?), studying for SATs, applying to college, coaching Lego League
robotics and, when time permits, attending classes as a senior at two different
high schools. After being instrumental
in starting a FIRST robotics team at her home
In September, Devon, Jean and Jim
along with friends Liza and Stacey traveled to the Maryland Renaissance
Festival where they met kin Jennifer, Ginny Lee and Logan (pictures on website,
need I say), and as usual I stayed home.
In October, while Devon was carving Halloween pumpkins with industrial
strength power tools on a visit to
Back in August, while Derek labored
in the hot sun of the James Monroe plantation (pictures on the website of
course), Devon, Jean and Jim visited cousins Jack and Diane (hmm, Jack and
Diane, sounds like a snappy title for a pop tune) and then went on to
boardgaming heaven at the World Boardgaming Championships in Lancaster (pics on
the website, some of which are kind of scary—see reference to Tall Grass Gothic above) and Devon disappeared
every night for extended sessions of Werewolf, and I, need I mention it, stayed
home in Richmond.
Congratulations to the Eichelberger wing of the
family on the birth of Brandon Andrew Eichelberger last month. Welcome, Brandon, to planet Earth, and a
most Merry Christmas to all.
P.S. As a reminder to those of you who would
probably rather not be reminded, here are our vital sadistics, er, statistics:
Address: 204
e-mail: devonrex@cavtel.net web site: www.dracorex.com (“Talk to the paw!”)